Reflective Moments
I'd like to invite you now to go on a mini-vacation with me right now in the comforts of wherever you are. Close your eyes. Imagine yourself in a setting where you feel the most relaxed. It can be a pleasant walk through a lush green forest, with the sounds of a trickling stream and chirping birds permeating the air. It can be sitting down at the beach, feeling the soft caress of the wind against your skin and the cool sensation of the sand filling in the gaps at your toes. Wouldn't you love to indulge in moments of serenity such as these?
Serenity
For years, I did not have the luxury of relaxing. Not because of lack of time but because Ed said so. The bulk of my waking hours was spent working and exercising. Any disruption to my schedule and I would feel deeply frustrated and agitated. Even when my body was not engaged in either of these activites, my mind would be on its own treadmill, sprinting on and on with its incessant obsessive thoughts. I was a thin mean machine, toiling endlessly and running away from myself, my problems, and everyone else. I soon realized that Ed was taking away so many things I loved - nature, writing, music, ... I was sacrificing them all on the sacrilegious altar of worship to Ed.
Nature's Allure
So one aspect of my recovery now is just simply to relax and enjoy each moment as it comes, just like the tide rushing in and out unceasingly as part of a grand cycle. I am learning to appreciate nature, beautiful and majestic because it bears the very fingerprints of God. Reading inspirational words nourish my soul while writing is a supremely cathartic experience that helps me understand myself and others better. Every week, I spend some quiet time on my own to do journaling. To me, it is a time when I delve deep down into who I really am. It is always exciting as I never knew what I will find there.
Thought Synapses
On this page, I share with you some of my favourite poems, quotes, words of affirmation, pictures, and music. I also post my weekly journaling exercises here so that you can also join me on this great adventure to explore the "me" who you can never stop knowing more and more fully. So kick off your shoes, sit back, relax and enjoy!
My Personal Eating Disorder Recovery Blog